1 + 1 = 1

What does yoga mean? Surrender, peace, acceptance, letting go, connectedness, flexibility, being grounded, openness, the suspension of judgement, a mind-body connection, balance... These were among some of the answers given to this question when asked on the first day of teacher training.

The answers were as diverse as the students. We had come from Canada, Japan, Australia, Malaysia, China, Uruguay, Germany, the United Kingdom, the United States, the Czech Republic, Taiwan, and other places as well. We had different backgrounds, careers and experiences. We spoke different languages. 

But we'd all traveled by air and bus and train and car for many hours to reach a city in the foothills of the majestic Himalayas, on the banks of the sacred Ganges, where we would become one. The personal journeys and paths that led us to Rishikesh varied, but our purpose was the same. Yoga.

The word yoga literally means 'oneness' or 'unity'. Its Sanskrit origin yuj means 'to join'. This description couldn't be any more accurate. The sense of unity in this group and at this place where so many individuals have joined together in the name of yoga is truly inspiring.

We arrived as many, but we will leave as one. And even after we've left Rishikesh Yog Peeth and returned to our respective homes and lives, we will remain one...

United in this common experience, in this beautiful setting, surrounded by supportive staff and sensational teachers in the birthplace of yoga, we will carry this energy and memory with us. Just as our energy and memory will remain. Near or far, we are all the same. We are one. We are united. We are.


I'm currently in Rishikesh, Uttarakhand, India studying yoga. I wrote this post for my yoga teacher training course's blog.

Seeing Things As They Really Are (After 10-Days of Silent Meditation)

I recently had the opportunity to attend a 10 day Vipassana course outside of Kathmandu in Nepal. Vipassana is a type of meditation taught by Gotama Buddha that has experienced a resurrgence in recent decades, particularly in India, but also throughout the world. 

I didn't really know much about Vipassana, also referred to as "The Art of Living". I'd read about it in a book on the plane into Kathmandu and found out there was a center outside the city that offered 10 day residential courses twice each month. I wanted to spend at least a month in Nepal, but didn't have any specific plans, so I decided to check it out. The courses (worldwide) are funded and staffed by people who've donated time and money after completing at least one 10 day course.

All participants observe Noble Silence for the duration of the course. This means in addition to no verbal communication, you can't gesture, touch or make eye contact with anyone. There's no reading or writing allowed and definitely no mobile phones or laptops. You surrender your passport and all of your money, and aren't allowed to leave the premises until the course is complete. Men and women are separated.

As I listened to orientation the day before the course began, they kept stressing the strict Code of Discipline, and adherance to the equally strict schedule that began at 4 a.m. and included 10 1/2 hours of meditation daily. It was obvious this wasn't going to be some kind of relaxing spiritual retreat. It was going to be hard work, but I thought I was prepared. 

By the end of the first day I had already decided this was the most difficult thing I'd ever attempted. It turned out that 10 hours of sitting was much more challenging than it had sounded. I couldn't believe it. I thought "Why did I ever decide to do this? How am I going to last for 9 more days!?"

Not speaking wasn't even the hard part. Avoiding eye contact was significantly more difficult. And sitting for more than 10 hours each day seemed utterly impossible. My body ached at least as much as it had during marathon training. But the hardest part was dealing with the thoughts that came up during the silence. It's easy to avoid thinking about unpleasantries when you're constantly on the go, but in the stillness there was nowhere to escape.

At the end of the first day I realized that my thoughts during meditation had been overwhelmingly negative. I found myself dwelling a lot on people I'd felt betrayed me in the past... some recently and others not so recently. All of the sudden I was thinking about people and situations that I was sure I'd gotten over. I was thinking about people who I'd never ever have to see again, and more importantly if I did, so what? I was suprised that I had been walking around with so much resentment.

After I became conscious of this, my thoughts began to turn more and more positve over the following days. As I struggled through the hours of meditation and listened to discourse in the evenings I began to shift my perspective on these past people and situations. I began to realize that I had written myself as the victim in this story, when that wasn't entirely true. Often, at some point along the line I'd done something to inflame or instigate the situation, whether purposeful or not.

In times when I had been feeling particularly depressed or hurt, I realized a pattern of attracting people who were very much in the same state of mind. I sought the love/support/affirmation from them that I couldn't give myself when they were obviously in no position to spare it as they didn't have enough for themselves either. Of course it ended badly.

Sure some of the time I felt people did hurtful things to me seemingly out of nowhere, but instead of resentment I started to feel something that resembled compassion. I began to recognize that maybe it wasn't about me, but their own unhappiness or pain or lack of understanding that led them to act out in the way they did at the time.

By the 7th day I was experiencing an overwhelming feeling of sadness and grief. I spent most of the morning mediation in uncontrollable tears. I was sad that I'd wasted so much time (honestly years) and effort dwelling on this past hurt and victimizing myself... that I'd been so careless at times with others' emotions and hearts, especially people who'd cared about me so much... that I'd been so devoid of compassion and so selfish.

I couldn't believe the tranformation I felt after more than 100 hours of meditation over the course of 10 days. It felt like a very heavy weight had been lifted. And the funny part is, I hadn't even recognized that I was carrying it until I took the time to be still and be present. It was an amazing experience. It was an incredibly difficult experience. But I would absolutely do it again. I learned a new way to live. A better way.

I realized that not only did I need to forgive people once and for all, but I also needed to forgive myself. "The past is gone forever," as my teacher said. All we can do is make a conscious effort to act differently in the future, instead of reacting like we have in the past.

Instead of sending anger and resentment to those who have hurt us, try sending a little bit of happiness, peace and compassion their way and you might just get some in return.

Click here for more information about Vipassana and the location of Dhamma centers around the world.

"Stay hungry. Stay foolish."

I came across this video of Steve Jobs giving the 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech and wanted to share it.

He talks about trusting that everything will work out and not settling for less than what you truly love in both your personal and professional life - revelent advice no matter your age or place in life. He makes a moving point about death and the need to let your heart and intuition, not the opinions/expectations of others, guide your choices.

What a beautiful message about the importance of courage and possibility!

Lessons from the Road

Think big.

Do bigger.

Trust yourself.

Trust your gut feelings. 

Trust that it will work out. 

It will work out if you trust yourself.  

Your gut feeling is generally spot on.

Most people are good.

We have more in common than we think.

Home is not a place, but a feeling.

Big risks lead to big rewards (except for when betting).

The less you have, the more free you are. 

Planning is overrated and hardly necessary.

Age is irrelevant.

The sky is bigger in some parts of the world...

And so are the possibilities. 

 

My thoughts after 5 months traveling.     

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

Going into 2010 I had no idea what the New Year (and decade) had in store, but I was sure that it would be amazing! (Besides the fact that 2009 was one of the hardest years of my life, so anything had to be an improvement...) I decided to take lots and lots of time for myself to figure out my next move.

And it turned out I literally decided to move... to a place on the other side of the world where I’ve never been, and previously never really had a desire to visit. But through a random(?) series of events it was becoming more and more clear that I should go, and go sooner rather than later.

Now I’m standing on the edge of 2011 having sold 98% of my belongings, leaving a comfortable (and pretty awesome) life behind with only a vague idea of what’s to come. I have a series of one-way tickets that over the course of January will take me from the life I’ve built in the American Midwest to remote Western Australia.

This isn’t a quest to “find myself.” If I was unsure about who I am, I don’t think I’d be brave enough to take off on my own. I want to be a citizen of the world. I want to know what it’s like to live outside of the U.S. I want to know empathy and fulfillment and love. I want to dwell on the edge of my comfort zone. I’m ready for an adventure.

So many people have told me how they could never do what I'm doing. And maybe that's the case... if for no other reason than an open-ended trip around the world might not be the thing you want the most. But if you take the time to figure out what it is that you desire to do more than anything else in this world, I'd be willing to bet that you could do that. The possibilities are endless! 

I found the following excerpt in Bill Bryson's "I'm A Stranger Here Myself: Notes on Returning to America After Twenty Years Away," and thought it was especially appropriate for this post, my adventure and the New Year: 

Take a moment from time to time to remember that you are alive. For endless eons there was no you. Before you know it, you will cease to be again. And in between you have this wonderful opportunity to see and feel and think and do. 

There are five billion other people on this planet, every one of them just as important, just as central to the great scheme of things, as you are. Don't ever make the horrible, unworthy mistake of thinking yourself more vital and significant than anyone else. 

Don't ever do anything on principle alone. If you haven't got a better reason for doing something other than the principle of the thing, then don't do it. 

Whatever it is you want to do in life, do it. There is nothing worse than getting to old age and saying, "I could have played second base for the Boston Red Sox but my dad wanted me to study law." Tell your dad to study law. You go climb Everest. 

Don't make the extremely foolish mistake of thinking that winning is everything. There is no shame in not winning. The shame is in not trying to win, which is of course another matter altogether. Above all, be gracious in defeat. 

Don't cheat. It's not worth it. Don't cheat on tests, don't cheat on your taxes, don't cheat on your partner, don't cheat at Monopoly, don't cheat at anything. Cheating is simply not worth it. 

Strive to be modest. It is much more becoming. 

Be happy. It's not that hard. You have a million things to be happy about. 

You have your whole life ahead of you. But here's the thing to remember. You will always have your whole life ahead of you. That never stops and you shouldn't forget it. 

I sincerely hope that 2011 brings you an abundance of peace, love, joy and adventure. Be brave. Be bold. Be nice. Love life. And most importantly, Never Settle! 

Cheers!  

The Land of Oz

For the past six months I've been planning my escape to Australia. I figured I'd save up some money for a year or so and then take off for the Outback and never look back. 

Then life happened, plans changed and all of the sudden I didn't have a job. Deep down I knew the timeline for my trip had just moved up considerably. I contemplated my options if I stayed in Omaha. I could do some freelance writing and get certified to teach yoga (both things I'd been putting off because of my full-time job). I thought about finding short-term contract work or trying to work for the non-profit I volunteered with. 

People kept asking what I would do about my trip. Did I have enough money saved? Would I leave sooner? I devoted an entire day to contemplating what I should do.

I knew I had to just go for it! I'd never have a cleaner break, and more importantly I'd always be able to find excuses to wait. There would always be some interesting, lucrative opportunity or event that I'd be missing out on. I called my immediate family and best friends to break the news. I figured once I'd said it out loud I was committed. 

My best friend said she wasn't surprised and then immediately asked for the bookshelf in my living room. My dad said he'd learn to use Skype. My sister was pissed that I'd miss her 21st birthday. My guilt was quickly tempered by the fact that she missed my 21st birthday. So what if she was only 14... My mom cried. My brother was excited to have a place to crash in Australia. Overall, everyone was extremely supportive. 

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. It's been really exciting and occasionally terrifying. I have no idea what the future holds, but for the first time in my life I'm in a position to do exactly what I want, whenever I want, wherever I want... and the possibilities are endless. 

Just Dance!

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."  

--- Angela Monet

Be sure in your steps even if you're the only one who can feel the rhythm in your soul. It's easy to get discouraged when others don't share (or can't understand) your vision. But keep it up and eventually you just might win the ultimate dance off that we call "life". At the very least you'll always be at an awesome dance party!

Making and Taking Time

I've been called a perfectionist and an overachiever more than once in my life. It's just my nature. A big part of it is that I don't like to disappoint people. 

I, like most perfectionists, want to do it all and be everything to everyone. And, (at least I think) I usually manage to pull it off. But I'm tired. I'm talking really tired...most of the time.

I think my biggest downfall is that I hate to say "No." Don't get me wrong, I do it, but I almost always feel guilty about it. If someone asks me for something, even if it's a simple invitation for a cocktail (Ok, especially if it's an invitation for a cocktail) I generally accept. 

Combine my reluctance to say "No" with the fact that I'm one of the most social people on the planet and the result is that I maybe get 2 days/nights during any given month to do exactly what I want...No obligations to anyone else. 

Lately, I've begun to realize that this ratio of time devoted to others vs. time devoted to me has to change. I can't continue to run on empty just because I don't want to disappoint others. My hunch is that the people who matter the most to me will understand. No guilty feelings necessary. 

I don't think this will be an easy transition, but I feel it is a necessary one. As I said in my post Never Settle!, if you don't take the time to put yourself first, then who else will?

This is my vow to make, and when necessary to take, time for myself in a quest to live a more balanced and fulfilled life. I hope that you will, too. 

No really... It's not you, It's me

I'm willing to bet that all of us have heard (or said) this line at some point in our lives. We use this line when we're trying to soften the blow of rejection. When we're trying to justify our actions and lead others to believe that whatever is happening is not their fault.

We use this line when there are feelings on the line. When we're trying to take the blame so that we don't feel bad about potentially hurting someone else's feelings. But has hearing this ever actually made anyone feel better?

I think that anyone on the receiving end who truly believes this statement, already believed it before the other person said it. You're either good at rejection or you're not. You either understand that it's not always about you and things don't happen according to your plans (and desires) a lot of the time...or you don't. 

I think accepting rejection is an integral part of finding contentment in one's life. Don't think of rejection as a bad thing, but as an opportunity to practice resiliency....an opportunity to learn, grow and become stronger as a person. Rejection builds character.

 I'm proud to be a REJECT, and hopefully you are too!